“Joanna”
By Conor Grayson
“Joanna, how could you?”
Her aunt had just brought her home, dropping the keys on the small table by the door, turning on lights as she went. Joanna sat on the couch. Her aunt sat too, putting one hand on the young woman’s knee.
“So let me just, let’s just be clear on what happened.”
In the car she had gotten parts of it, but Joanna had been frantic. The story had burst out in bunches, not all of them linear. Alice wanted to make sure she had the facts down before she decided what to do with the nineteen-year-old.
“So you met this guy…on the internet?”
“Yeah.”
“And you agreed that he would pick you up after work. Sight unseen. And you got in his car.”
Quieter now: “yeah.”
“And you were going to go to a bar. Which bar?”
Joanna was silent. The living room had large windows, and her aunt in her haste had left them open when she left. Outside, Joanna could see bone-white winter. The moonlit woods returned her silence.
“Joanna.”
“We went to the Crooked Hag.”
Alice stood up, suddenly, unconsciously angry. “The Crooked Hag is by the scrapyard. Hell, I think it’s in the scrapyard. Did you know that?”
“Yes.”
Alice was pacing, her determination to be the calm and rational one beginning to fade. “It is so…it is so dangerous for you, alone, 19, to go with a stranger, to that part of town. And…wait, how did you get to the river?”
That, it turned out, was complicated. It involved the guy getting handsy on the drive, and Joanna resisting, and eventually being dumped on the side of a dark road, with no houses and no cell service. It was freezing, and dark. Joanna had stumbled through the dark until she’d gotten to the Smoke River, which cut a diagonal line through the town. She was able to follow it until cell service returned, and she could call her aunt. She was shivering badly, the January mountain night gathering her in a cold that was becoming dangerous. Fortunately her aunt picked up the phone, and came quickly.
All of this was relayed at length, with lots of stops and starts. By now, Alice had sat back down on the couch, and she put one hand on niece’s thigh. Beneath her winter coat Joanna had been wearing a thin black dress, and she wore it still.
“I don’t need to tell you how dangerous this was, or how stupid. You do understand, that every single choice you made tonight put yourself in very real danger?”
Joanna nodded. She was intensely worried about what was coming next. But she was also still shaken from her encounter with that terrible cold: the moment when the car had driven away, and the road’s darkness became seamless with the unlined dark of the surrounding woods. She had felt like a spark that had escaped the fireplace. It scared her.
“I really thought we would never have to revisit this issue of responsibility, not at this level. You’re practically an adult, Joanna. You are always so good. Why would you act out like this?”
Joanna was crying now, she couldn’t help it. She had always been an easy crier, she slipped into it so quickly, without meaning to. “I dunno, I was just…I guess I was just bored.”
“You were bored? So you decided to do something stupid, something that could get you killed? You decided freezing to death was a better option? Or getting raped?”
“No! I didn’t mean for that to happen. I was just sick of being so good all the time.”
Alice sighed. “Okay. I get that, actually. You don’t have a lot of outlets here, like other girls your age. You’re not getting the normal college experience, you kind of skipped to being an adult. Is that it?”
Joanna nodded, still crying. She attended a local college part-time and worked at the library in Sable Falls. Her parents lived a couple towns over, but she had chosen to live with her aunt for now, because it was near to both work and school and because the two were close. Growing up, she had come to stay at her aunt’s fairly regularly, especially in the summers. Joanna’s schedule was full, and she spent most of her days in the company of older adults, and her evenings in class, or doing homework at the dining room table. As the winter had set in, she had buried herself ever deeper in the work in front of her, and saw friends rarely. Until she happened to add a dating app to her phone. After that, things had moved fast. Now, her aunt had given voice to the way she had been feeling more and more, and it felt so profoundly foolish.
“I’m sorry, it’s so stupid, I should be grateful…”
“Hush. Stop that, Joanna Elizabeth. Look at me. You feel how you feel. It is absolutely not stupid to be lonely or to need an outlet. I still feel that way sometimes! Hiding from it doesn’t help at all. Look at where ignoring how you feel got you tonight. Part of being an adult is recognizing how you feel and doing something to make it better. It’s about being proactive with your feelings, not ignoring or criticizing them. That never works, sweetie. So you go on and feel how you feel.”
Joanna leaned on her aunt, and sobbed as she was enfolded in an embrace. They sat like that for a few minutes, in the small, warm living room, its old furniture layered with quilts and throw pillows like clumps of yellow moss. Eventually, Alice pulled Joanna off her, kissing her forehead and producing a tissue from nowhere. Joanna used it loudly, then laughed a little. Alice smiled too, but they both knew what was coming next. At least, Joanna had her suspicions.
“Okay sweetie, you may have had your reasons for acting out tonight. But while you were entitled to do something, this was not the right choice. At all. And I can’t let this go. I’m too afraid you won’t really learn your lesson if I let you off with just a warning here.”
Joanna nodded again.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve had to give you a spanking. What’s it been, three years?”
“Yes,” hiccuping a bit. “I think so.”
“I really thought we might be done with this type of discipline. Or any discipline, honestly. But the way you behaved tonight, the choices you made, tell me that you have not outgrown having your bottom warmed. Hopefully, tonight is the last time, but that is up to you.”
Joanna couldn’t believe she was back here. Like her aunt had said, it had been years since this had happened. But when she was younger, it was a fairly common occurrence. Her aunt, like her parents, held her to a very high standard of behavior, and Alice had full discipline privileges over her. She was not shy about exercising them.
Knowing what was expected of her, Joanna stood up. Wanting to be cooperative, she gathered her black dress and lifted it well above her hips, revealing sheer tights and lacy black panties.
“Thank you for cooperating,” Alice told her. Then she carefully peeled down the girl’s tights, letting her step out of them and placing the gauzy bundle to one side. Then she did the same with the sheer underwear, removing them with a deliberately slow cadence, taking the time to fold them neatly once they were off. Joanna stood with her privates and bottom exposed in the quiet room. Then, turning back to the now-exposed girl, Alice folded her hands and began to scold in earnest. She outlined again the girl’s actions, explaining in some detail all the things that could have gone wrong at each step, all the dangers she had courted. When asked, Joanna promised fulsomely that she would be good, that never again would she expose herself to such hazards. At last, the lecture concluded. Joanna gulped. She knew what came next.
During the lecture, Alice’s hands had remained folded in her lap. Now, she ran them up behind Joanna, cupping her bottom. Alice gasped as she felt the warm hands on her skin. This had always been part of her spankings from her aunt. It made her feel deeply embarrassed, but also taken care of. Alice gently kneaded her niece’s backside as they began to go into the final part of the pre-spanking ritual.
“Why are we here, Joanna?”
Joanna bobbed up and down, not wanting to do this part. But she knew she had no choice.
“Because I made poor choices.”
“Yes, sweetheart. And what happens when you make poor choices?”
“I get a spanking.” God, she was 19.
“Yes sweetie. And how do you get a spanking.”
“Aliceeee.”
“How do you address me?”
Stomp.
“Joanna. Do we need to get my belt?”
“No ma’am! I’ll cooperate.”
“Then tell me how you get a spanking. Now.”
“I get a spanking on my bottom, long and hard, until I learn my lesson.” Standing there in the lamplight, exposed, her aunt’s soft hands rubbing her bare bottom.
The ritual completed, thoroughly humbled, promising quietly that she would never do it again, Joanna was taken across her aunt’s lap. Alice’s dress had ridden up, and Joanna felt her aunt’s firm thighs against her hips. Without another word, Alice began the spanking.
Alice’s spanking style was hard and measured. She started off firm, but not full strength, allowing Joanna a slight warm-up. But still the swats stung as they fell all over her bottom, smacking her sit spots and down to her pale thighs. The latter made her kick and brought tears, and soon the spanks became harder, picking up speed, working the girl into a frenzy. Two minutes in and she was crying openly, promising to be good. At the five minute mark the begging started. Alice closed her heart to all of it, focusing on the metronomic punishment, up and down her niece’s thighs and across every inch of her behind. The marbled skin deepened into winter sunset pink, then red. At last, the spanking stopped. But only for a moment. Joanna, catching her breath, knew it wasn’t over. But she still pleaded for it to be, looking back and training her tear-filled eyes on her aunt.
“No sweetie, we need to.”
Alice was holding a hairbrush. It was oval, wooden, and heavy. She took Joanna’s hand, clasping it behind her back. It was both a comfort and a restraint. Then she started again.
**
Joanna lay curled in Alice’s arms. Her sobbing had gradually given way to heavy breathing, then fitful sleep. After a while, Alice gently roused her. “Why don’t we forego corner time tonight, and you can make it up in the morning, okay? With the penalty.”
Alice always insisted on corner time after a spanking, but if it was late, you could put it off for the night. The penalty was that it would last a little longer. But Joanna was exhausted, and she was glad to have the respite. So she let herself be led to bed. Alice tucked her in, kissing the top of her head. “My good girl again,” she whispered. Joanna was asleep almost immediately.
The next morning, Alice let Joanna sleep in. And when she awoke, her aunt had made her a full breakfast: bacon, waffles, coffee. When the meal was done, Alice took her niece’s hand and led her to the corner. Joanna tucked in, folding her hands behind her head while Alice slid her pajama pants to her ankles. Her pale, dimpled bottom was gently bruised. Alice slid her hand across it lovingly. “You do have a beautiful bottom, Alice.” It was the sort of thing Alice told her often, before or after a spanking. Like every other aspect of discipline, it made her feel both embarrassed and loved.